Beauty is a State of Mind...

Markus Zusak once wrote - "Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are."

If beauty is a state of mind (and all the magazines have it wrong) then just how beautiful are you?

Recently, Dove conducted an experiment where they offered a selection of women a solution to their "i feel ugly"  blues. It was a patch that they placed on their arm and all they had to do was take a video journal to record their progress. At first, nothing happened. Over the coming days however, all of the women who tested the patch, noticed a significant change in the way they felt about themselves. One of them even went dress shopping! When they returned to Dove headquarters, they were told that the patch's active ingredient was in fact - nothing. Nothing. The women felt better because they decided to feel better. I am a Nutrimetics consultant and would rather use products that were made in New Zealand for New Zealand women.. but credit to Dove for proving a a point about beauty. I love that the company's philosophy is to only just enhance the beauty women already have. Nutrimetics shares that same philosophy, which is why I have been a consultant for eleven years.

During one of my 'ugly' days, (which for no rhyme or reason, happens to all of us) I made the catastrophic mistake of seeking reassurance from a family member. Why do we do that? Why do we always listen to the small voice in our head, bullying us? Why can't we stop listening, or stop seeking self esteem from elsewhere and have another not-so-small voice telling us - "don't listen to anyone else, you are beautiful. Now get a grip and get dressed... it's 3 in the afternoon for goodness sakes!'

Instead I listened to a family member. The conversation went like this...

Vickie: Hey....

FM: Hmmm?

Vickie: Do you think... um.. do you think i'm beautiful?

FM: Of course you are

Vickie: No, I mean...really?

FM: Yes Vickie.

Vickie: No, but can you be unbiased for a sec?

FM: No! I can't.

Vickie: Well, just pretend... and be honest with me. Do you think's I'm beautiful?

FM: Yes

Vickie: Like, out of 10, if 0 was really ugly and 10 was out of this world.. what would my score be?

FM: I'm not giving you a score!

Vickie: Go on, please. I want to know. You won't be upset me. Out of 10... what am I?

FM: Ok, you're a 7. Happy now?

Vickie: I'm a 7? I'm a 7.

Can you see where I went wrong? If you don't know the exact moment let me help you out... it started with.. do you think i'm beautiful. That 7 has been burned into my mind now. I will always know that when push comes to shove, that family member graded me a 7. The real answer would have been - 'It's always going be a 10 with me Vickie.. you are always just so beautiful in my eyes. If only you could see what I see."

Why, at the moments where it counts the most, are we completely disabled from seeing our own true beauty? Disabled is a strong word but I use it deliberately. Women in New Zealand not only have a huge capacity to care for others, but we also have an incapacity to care for ourselves. So many New Zealand women put themselves last in life, me included. A couple of years ago, while at a Nutrimetics conference in Australia, i looked around and surveyed the 2000 women in the arena, and I swear I could pick who was from Australia and who came from NZ. New Zealand women were listening to other women. They were dressed conservatively. They were not particularly expressive. They did not push their way to the best seats. Australian women were pushy, highly expressive and very colorful. They did more talking than listening, but they also held their heads up and walked a little taller than the rest of us. They introduced themselves with confidence. They dressed beautifully, and they seemed happier somehow. It has less to do with what they wore and more to with their attitude towards their own inner beauty. They were beautiful, and they knew it. Why can't we be like that? I think it's our responsibility and right to ensure we feel that way about ourselves. We should do that for ourselves and for the generations to come, who watch us and look to us for guidance. Let our 'ugly' fall behind... let's start a revolution NZ women, where we start treating ourselves with respect and honor. Look after your skin, get dressed up or made up if you want to. Take care in your appearance only because it makes you feel confident - and for no other reason. Come on NZ women, the aussies have us beat in this area... but not for long! 

I'll leave you with a quote from an amazingly beautiful woman... "Think of all the beauty still left around you (and in you!) and be happy." - Anne Frank